Okay, picking up where I left off, we were in the water and I was falling in love with him. I knew it at the time but I was trying to push the feelings away. Even though I knew that he had feelings for me too, I was worried about what it would do to our friendship. He was my best friend, someone that I had relied on to cheer me up for almost three years. And I knew that relationships were doomed at our age and that once we broke up I’d lose that friendship forever. I was genuinely conflicted at the point.
When we went back to relax on the sand, I was no longer conflicted. We were lying side by side chatting, laughing and listening to music. I then wanted to show him a funny photo that I saw on my phone and so he leaned closer and his head was on my towel. My heart fluttered. At that moment I felt like I needed my own portable air conditioning. Melbourne was hot, but I was so flustered by my emotions that I felt like 1000 degrees.
I found myself showing him more and more funny photos just to keep him close to me. I didn’t want to move even a millimetre and I definitely didn’t want him to move. I don’t think he wanted to move either. Especially because his hand slowly got closer and closer to mine as time progressed. We stayed like that, super close and looking at photos on my phone for hours. We didn’t leave until it became apparent that we had to, because it was dark and getting cold. I found myself wishing we had thought about a heater service. Melbourne isn’t exactly a warm place to be in the winter months! I’ll never forget how much my heart sank when we had to leave the most comfortable position I’ve ever been in. For the next month until I saw him again I was longing for us to be like that again.