Dispute’s Heating Up

Day five: the war over the office climate control system rages on. Edith has wrested the remote from Dan and is smugly nursing it in her cubicle, making sure everyone knows about her special trump card, which is her arthritis. This would be a very real concern and one that I’m sure everyone would be all too happy to accommodate, if only it were actually a thing. 

I know it’s not because I overheard her talking about it to Emily while they were out the back having a vape. Through a cloud of boysenberry-scented scheming, I heard them hatching a plan to pretend that Edith has arthritis in order to dominate the remote. I swear on my grandmother’s grave that they were laughing evilly, unlikely as that may sound. The worst of it is that I can’t even expose them, because everyone will think I’m a terrible person, making up lies about poor Edith and her debilitating health problem.

So, here I am, stuck for the time being in this godforsaken sweat-box. Dan and Britney, at least, are on my team, and I believe that Hans is sympathetic to our cause despite being a fence-sitter. Here in Clayton, heating and cooling are more of a hot topic than you might think, but there are still plenty of people who refuse to take a stand on this important issue. I’ve been explaining this to Hans at every opportunity, and he seems to be coming around. It’s great to see him cottoning on to our advocacy efforts, and hopefully he’ll soon be allying himself with the right side of this battle. 

Truly, I don’t know how people end up on the wrong side of this campaign to turn up the heating. All areas of Melbourne seem to have their own cells that operate for a common goal, which is to cause the downfall of us reasonable types who don’t thrive in the heat. Now that they’re resorting to dirty tactics, like Edith’s playing the medical card, we’re going to have to up our game as well. 

I didn’t want it to come to this, but we’re going to have to pull out a trump card of our own.