The Baker Family: 100% Healthy

Our family does not get sick. We are paragons of health. All the doctors say so, and I know for a fact that we have a reputation in our local community; maybe even further. When the doctors near us go on their annual doctor conferences that I just kinda assume exist, I bet they hold us up as a case study. “That Baker family…they’re something else. They are the supermen of the medical community. If everyone was like them, then there would be no disease. Any ailment would have been savagely beaten into submission the moment it reared its ugly head.”

So when I say that my daughter is now getting arch support insoles, I mean it in a purely neutral manner. This is not a sign of anything untoward…she just needs help with her stride, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with having a stride that’s a bit off, ha ha! We are still the best!

The podiatrist was just doing their job when they made it sound worse than it is, which is reasonable, because a poor athletic stride can turn into something a lot worse. Today it’s a slightly pigeon-toe gait that lessens sprinting speed by nine percent, and tomorrow you’ve developed weak ankles that are liable to become twisted at the crucial, pointy end of the triathlon. The Baker family does not get twisted ankles. Twisted ankles are for people who either don’t do enough exercise or don’t know how to land from high falls properly.  

So these arch supports are merely…corrective. No one is perfect; even our family is only almost there. Foot problems are also more common during childhood, when kids are still learning how to run with a proper athletic stride and they make all sorts of silly mistakes like not pumping their arms and not doing up their shoelaces properly.

That’s it! We’re going back to that podiatrist clinic in Cheltenham and we’re getting some premium advice on the best shoelaces that give you THE BEST running tightness. And I’m sure Carlie won’t need these arch supports for long. Even if it’s accidental, Bakers heal ridiculously fast.

-Jacqui Baker