Impending DIY Drama

My cousin, Jim, has been attempting to resurface his driveway. He’s struggling a bit, but I haven’t got much sympathy for him. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a hundred times: get a professional to do it. But he never listens, and invariably ends up making a right mess of the job, whether it’s installing a retaining wall or unblocking the chimney.

Of course, I do admire his spirited attitude to home maintenance and repair; I just wish he’d either acknowledge his limitations or make a concerted effort to upskill himself. He’s unbelievably slack on both counts, which is a recipe for breaking things – bits of his house or, occasionally, bits of himself (like the time he dropped a large paving stone square on his foot).

I don’t know why he thinks he can make a success, given his track record, of concrete driveway resurfacing. Melbourne North is not exactly devoid of companies that can do this in a cost effective manner and produce a good result for concrete driveways. I just know that he’s going to waste a bunch of resources on this campaign, which will ultimately leave his front yard in a much worse state than it was when he started. Classic Jim.

Look, maybe it runs in the family. My dad, back in the day, used to take out the honorary title for most ‘creative’ DIY landscaping Moonee Ponds has ever known. Think wonky patios and paving concepts that were somehow completely dissonant with the aesthetic of the house. But at least he always managed to get the job done, and the results generally seemed to go the distance. Cousin Jim, on the other hand, just makes an endless meal of it.

He actually told me that he has plans to install a swimming pool, which freaked me out a little. I suggested that he start with a small pond – anything to keep him occupied and not looking to get started on massive landscaping projects. In Jim’s case, idle hands are the tools of terrible home handiwork.